Mojo Market Mayhem

[Ottawa Area] This Saturday was the grand opening of the Mojo Market. Many had high hopes for the mall, which was to concentrate on supernatural goods and services, but would welcome any who arrived at its doors. “The Mojo Market, I hope, will be the catalyst for the meeting of two worlds,” said Lianda Simmons, proprietor of the Night Stallion bar and grill. “When it opens its doors, the public will finally have a chance to glimpse all the benefits of magic, and meet some of the denizens of the supernatural community, in a safe and open environment.”

Some might consider it a sign, then, that what was supposed to be the emergence of a new era, was so fraught with tension. If not even an hour can pass without trouble, what hopes do we have that the mall will last a year? From even before the doors were opened, protesters shouted and waved signs that said “No Magic No Monsters” and “What is the Price of YOUR SOUL?”

“We are here as a reminder to good people,” said the famous Donovan Ross, of the well-known Illuminations – Worship with the Church of Imminent Redemption. “This cesspool is nothing but a gathering of pagan and satanic powers, and I want to help prevent it from succeeding in its primary goal, which is clearly to tempt the good people of Ontario. I have confidence that, shown the way, they will reject this dark influence and instead make their way into the light. I will welcome them there.”

Inside the walls of the market, one sees that gathering of power. It’s hard not to be sucked in and like what you see. The mall’s owners are particularly charming, and when prompted only slightly, will describe the mall’s many delights in great detail. The “cosmetic sorcery”, for example (“licensed and fully regulated”), lets you have any temporary magical enhancement you’d care to describe – wings, for example, which let you fly to the upper levels of the mall and partake of the view. The arcade, which uses unparalled 3D technology, puts in the world of the game unlike any other system that exists today. The Adept school teaches mages, as its proprietor said, “to understand the depth of their powers”.

Of the current legal concern between the mall’s owners and the one who protested outside, not a lot was said. Both parties espoused “confidence in the legal system” and, on one side, “an amicable resolution”. But one could not help but notice that the free smoothies sent to the protestors were left untouched, and a brief meeting between the two parties ended in shouting and a shocking display of temper from the usually well-mannered Reverend.

Where next? I suppose that’s up to the community to decide.

- Colleen O’Malley, The Ottawa Connection



I'm sorry, but we no longer support this web browser. Please upgrade your browser or install Chrome or Firefox to enjoy the full functionality of this site.